


Hurt

by bluemoonslights



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 06:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18177329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoonslights/pseuds/bluemoonslights
Summary: Set when Alec will witness Magnus' seizure (which I assume will happen in 3x15)





	Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so it's just something I wrote, I'm not English so, sorry for the mistakes, and hm happy reading? It is basically for my own enjoyment that I write and it's the first time I share it... It's very small, I'm truly not confident on my writing skills lol but maybe I'll try to write a multi-chaptered fanfiction with many words one day? We'll see!

"I won’t lose you. I can’t."

People always said Alexander Gideon Lightwood was not a man of many words, but he always spoke them truthfully. And Magnus Bane knew it was true, and the emotions he could sense behind those beautiful eyes searched for Magnus’ understanding.  
And he understood. He truly did. Magnus had lost a lot of people, and a lot of people lost Magnus, in many ways. And at the end of the day, everyone mattered. In their own lives, but also in other people’s lives. And he truly knew how much Alexander loved him, as Magnus also did. And sometimes, the length of that love even scared him. 

"I know Alexander. And I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to fix this, fix my magic-" but Magnus is too weak to even continue his sentence. Each word felt like a punch in his throat.

"No, no. I can’t… There is nothing to fix. You’re not broken. Your magic is part of you, it’s the essence surrounding you, hovering around you, and I know, I know-" Alexander’s voice breaks and he looks so young, so young and so broken. Magnus cannot help but think it’s his fault, his fault for asking Lorenzo, his fault for Jace becoming the owl, and in a rush to fix everything he was so desperate and didn’t even think his lost of magic would also involve people around him. He is afraid Alexander is going to break into sobs, because if he does, it would be his downfall, and he couldn’t bear to make him cry. 

"-I know I can’t get it because I’m no warlock, but I-" Alexander takes Magnus' left hand into his and, his hand melts perfectly with his own, as if they were made for each other. After so many handholdings, he is finally realizing that this, this is proof.  
This is proof their love is truly his home.

"-I’m trying, and Magnus, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, and you don’t have to fix anything. You don’t, because NONE of this is your fault, and you don’t have to take any responsibility. We are going to solve this, together, because that’s what we do. We are stronger together, relying on each other. Aren’t we?–" His voice breaks, and Magnus can’t help but close his eyes for a moment. He realizes that this love, is anything like the other loves he had before. Never someone thought of him as an equal, a partner in all situations, never. This is almost too good to be true and his mind wonders-

"-Magnus, please, please, don’t give up, come back to me, don’t close your eyes, don’t -CATARINA PLEASE-"  
The voices he hears are far and near at the same time, and he wonders again- is this a dream? Is this reality?  
He can feel wetness on his left hand, Alexander's tears, and he opens his eyes again. His favourite eyes look at him, completely scared and with so many emotions-

"Magnus, don’t leave me."  
Alexander’s tears are painful to watch, a reminder that he is the one who is putting him through it all. The pain he feels inside is nothing compared to the pain he has for hurting Alexander like this. 

"I won’t go anywhere. Not now, not ever. You’re my home and safest place. I love you so much I even wonder if I deserve this love or if I’m dreaming." That’s what Magnus almost said. He wants to say so many things, he wants him to understand how important he is, how wrong he was about so many things, but their love is one of the only things he is sure of. But instead, he says

"Marry me."


End file.
